Panic Mode

Otherwise known as me freaking out.  In less than 8 hours I will leave Parker for an entire week for the first time.  While I have left him over night before it has been less times than the number of fingers on one hand that neither myself nor Aaron were with him. And only once was it 2 consecutive nights.  I've known all along that today would come and I would freak out.  I took today off work to spend with him and I am so glad I did.  He napped for a while on my lap this afternoon before I put him in his crib.  It was one of the best parts of the day.  He is the sweetest little boy and I love him more than I ever thought possible. 

I am not worried about his care as I know it will be fine.  I worry about if he'll be like me though.  A homesick girl who called her mom every night in the middle of the night multiple times when she was 12 years old and on a trip to her Grandpa's house in Seattle, crying because I was not home.  Obviously at 2 years old he's not going to call me, but I don't want him to have those homesick feelings that I had and still sometimes get. 

After two years it is time for Aaron and me to vacation alone, to sleep past 6 a.m. and to enjoy one another.  I know it's important for us to take time for ourselves, I know we will have a blast but no one said this part would be easy.  I know tomorrow I will be fine, I'll be on a beautiful ship sailing the ocean.  But today.  Today I am in panic mode.